Δευτέρα 22 Μαΐου 2017

The porcelain cat

  There was a time that I thought it all started the day my mother died, four or five years ago. Maybe it started a little later, when I met Rena and then Stephan. Maybe it all started a lot earlier, even before my mother got hospitalised. She stayed in the hospital for quite some time and unfortunately -or fortunately, depends on someone's point of view- she had plenty of time knowing how her life would end. So, one of those days, that my life was nothing but going to work and having to deal with the cold walls of an ordinary hospital, a doctor approached me and announced that “sadly, my mother did not make it through this seisure” and of course that he was “so sorry”.
  I recall almost every night those moments. I remember how, for a couple of moments, I couldn't believe it. My mother. My mom. Is dead. I lost her. I was twenty eight and still living with her. I had spend my entire life having her in the next room, at the same room... To take care of me, to look after me. To think of me before herself. My mommy. What am I going to do in my life? How will I go on? She had always been there when I was coming back from school, from college, from work... she was always there waiting for me... always waiting...
  I was standing there just staring at the doctor who kept talking. Something about paerwork thathad to be done and other necessary procedures and if there was anyone to call for help. I had noone. Only a couple of friends, to whom I avoided becoming a burden. Grandparents were not alive anymore and the rest of the relatives, well... they didn't want having anything to do with my mother and that blew back on me. As for my father, he died when I was very young. I barely remember him. Or maybe a child's mind is able to create memories with people only seen in photographs, just so to comfort oneself, to calm down a little bit between two outbursts of someone stronger, whom is unable to cope with.

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